Went shopping at Bergdorf Goodman in Manhattan this weekend. What a wonderful experience that is.

Salesperson: May I take your coat, sir?
Me: Why, thank you.
Salesperson: Would you like a cold drink while you shop? Perhaps some of these chocolate nonpareils?
Me: Thank you, no. Watching my figure.
Salesperson: Excellent choice in pants, sir.
Me: Why, thank you.
Salesperson: While we wait for the tailor, would you like to engage in some heavy petting?
Me: Why not; I'm just having cuffs done.

Every store should be like Bergdorf.