One day while I was driving, I pulled up to a red light. Alongside my car was a man in a suped-up Fast and the Furious-inspired shitbox. As we sat and waited for the light to go green, he began to slowly crawl as if anticipating the light change.

I could tell he wanted to get ahead of me.

I gripped the wheel a bit tighter than usual. Something inside me wanted to beat this asshole. The light turned green, and I got the quick jump ahead. I felt a rush of masculinity wash over me. But, alas, my victory was short-lived. And, in a matter of a few seconds, he accelerated and quickly overtook me. And do you know why he beat me?

Because his penis is bigger than my penis.*

Via the Hanging Stranger